//starring.StArs

2008-06-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

i've decided to shutdown vindicatedbyhim.blogspot.com and move on to emptied.multiply.com

well, simply because i can private my entries(: adora noes what i'm talking about.
haha. thus, pls sign up for a multiply account and add me as friend if u intend to read posts that i dun open up for everyone. :D

love you all,
leng

:):):):):)

2008-06-04T23:37:00.002+08:00

sunshine after the rain? :)

i certainly certainly hope so.

2008-05-23T21:23:00.003+08:00

spare me a little support
when everything seems crashing down on me
shattered, battered and torn apart
here i am, begging for that bit of support

spare me a little support
when i feel so faithless, down and out
dead inside, forced-smile on the outside
here i am, begging for that bit of support

spare me a little support
i'm not being demanding this time round
treat me like a friend, or take pity on me as you would to a unknown man
here i am, begging for that bit of support

spare me a little support
that bit and it would be enough to keep me going on
you know it's never the same when it's not you
thus here i am, begging for that bit of support

spare me a little support
spare me your little support
spare me from breaking down without that support

i really really need you now.

2008-05-22T23:54:00.001+08:00

if my words are scarce, does it mean that i'm not HURT?

no.

2008-05-15T18:41:00.003+08:00

i just want to keep my eyes on things eternal.

things that are solid, real, for-sure, happy, forever...

2008-05-10T11:14:00.003+08:00

yesterday.. adora, zen, isaiah, samuel and me went out! (?!?!) haha. a weird combination of ppl isnt it? but well, it went on well and i think thou we crapped alot, talked in 'sensored' language, listened to songs and pei zen shopping (yes, zen was e only one shopping),but we enjoyed the outing. haha. YAY.

project C and NK failed thou. :( aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww....

P.S. wasn't hangman fun?easy right? :P

2008-05-08T23:56:00.004+08:00

(23:33) aikleng has changed his/her personal message to "i think 'brainless'
needs to be redefined"
(23:34) ____: i think 'brainless' needs to be redefined
(23:34) ____: i think so too
(23:34) ____: maybe u can go add to wikipedia
(23:34) aikleng: nah
(23:34) aikleng: u think i will waste my time on u?
(23:34) ____: hahaha

i know i am mean. and i know that ____ will read this. since visiting my friendster and facebook is YOUR FREEDOM (or so u say), writing whatever i want on MY BLOG is MY FREEDOM den.

i hope this post burst one or two of your fat arteries by now.

p.s. i didnt quarrel with him due to his frequent visits to my friendster etc. it is just that i simply cant stand guys who are so so shallow. or maybe i'm just feminist, but either way, stop oogling at H____-N____ G___ of which photos you kept for 'your own pleasure' and thinks that that is perfectly alright.

i personally think it is an insult to woman. whichever other way you try to argue your way out.

2008-04-26T01:10:00.002+08:00

aikleng's alive and kicking still. just that she isnt really interested in explaining things to everyone who's reading my blog (still?!)haha. cos there's much many do not understand. so why start the subject den?

anyway,on the livelier side, things has been pretty rosy recently. nothing much happened but i guess i've got to be grateful for that too(:(:(: sch's been good, hard as some of the patients maybe, i still got through. and till now i'm not exactly close to my clinic quota since most of my slots are empty :(

thus,if any of you kind souls out there are free on mon afternoons (150-320pm or 320-500pm )or fri mornings (950-1120am or 1120-1250pm), and wants a eyecheck or contact lens fitting,it's at $5 :) just let me noe and i will book you under me!!! :)

i'm graded on each patient that i check. :( so i kinda have to be serious in the clinic.haha..

2008-04-20T23:58:00.003+08:00

tonight i totally freaked out. i needed to be calm. at least i tried to be.. i was so so so scared. really terrified that i couldnt get help for you. no matter how scared and lost i was, i HAD TO sound calm. it wasnt a choice.

i freaked out when you sounded really hard to breathe.
i freaked out when you no longer respond to me and beata.
i freaked out when you started sobbing.
i freaked out when i didn't have josh's num at that crucial time
i freaked out when i couldn't get thru the damn phone.
i freaked out when i dunno who else to call.
i totally FREAKED OUT.

i was shivering throughout the entire ordeal. and i broke down into tears immediately after i hung up the phone. it didn't made it better that i couldn't find anyone to talk to. i sent out SOOOO many smses but none had any replies. and inside me i was so lost and scared. i felt so ALONE.

trust me, i would never want to experience that again. please take care of yourself.

2008-03-31T00:34:00.001+08:00

love her voice. and they way she made it seemed like she can make any songs emo immediately. HAHA.

2008-03-05T15:52:00.003+08:00

warning. this is just going to be a random entry. random typing.

i do feel that i am understanding myself lesser and lesser. i seem not to know what i want. i watched P.S I LOVE YOU that day. i cried. don't know why i did. but there was a part of the show that i found myself to be so much like Holly. knowing clearly that everything had came to an end. but somehow hoping for more. knowing that the pain to let go might be shorter than holding on, but somehow chose the former. knowing that there's someone waiting for her but chose to ignore.

maybe because the love had been so strong. it's hard to forget.

maybe I'm just stupid.
she told me marriages are made in heaven. are made by God. that she believe it isn't the end. she told me to pray and believe.
why did she have too tell me that? why why why why why... her words goes through my mind repeatedly. two right ppl at a wrong time? is that really possible?
maybe i am just naive.

and you.. you make me not know what to do. i can't love when pieces of my heart are everywhere. when my heart is not mine. how long would it take for me to piece it back again? i don't know. and when it is mended, would it be the day i fall for you? i don't know. would it be you? i don't know. will i ever mend my heart anyway? ha. i don't know too.

and there's just too much uncertainties. the more you sacrifice for me, sometimes the worst i feel.

Jesus, take the wheel of my life. because i seem to always go the wrong way. always come back battered and bruised. i really cant do it on my own. i want to let go of it all. it has really been a long hard year.

i want to stop searching for another someone that can make my heart jump like it used to. cos the search proves to be in vain. i want to stop, because i don't need that someone. stop, because my life has better things planned for me to accomplish. STOP.. just because i might never find another.

blah.

2008-02-20T02:57:00.003+08:00

Way back into love
Music and lyrics

i just simply love this song. <3333

love is blindness?

2008-02-14T02:57:00.003+08:00

credits to chicagokristi, flickr

14 feb
happy valentine's day

attachment has been pretty draining and boring for the past 3 days. off days are thursdays.. and for all who do not know, it's a 6 day week. burning off both my weekends. :(:(:( guess i won't be seeing most of the youths for another 4 weeks or so. will miss u all.

well, my first off day falls on vday. just got to know bout my offs today.. guess it'll be an enjoyable day with my darling daughter tmr. <3 glad i still have u with me. if not it'll be a really lonely valentine. love you.

actually, i miss being in love.

this is what i read awhile back:
when you are loved by someone deeply, you will find strength.
when you deeply in love with someone, you will find courage.

and then i ask myself, will courage and strength ever co-exist in my life?

2008-02-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

she, as usual was up early on a sunday morning. as usual, on her way to church. felt kinda different. somehow a lot was going through her mind this particular day. as she sat alone on the train, she was listening to emo songs on loop. she realised Paula DeAnda was singing exactly what she was feeling- the questions that ran through her head, the unreturned affection.. and the need to feel overloved. she was just thinking thinking thinking... in her, she thought this time round she finally resolved the problem within her.. to just take a chance. well, she's still young and there's really this thing about playing on the field with 'a lot of receiving and little giving' that attracts. she reasoned that if she don't put her heart into it, she won't get bruised and hurt.. right? sounds like a quick solution to her problems. she kinda smiled a 'that is it!' smile and headed for the meeting. throughout meeting she saw B glancing over several times.. a look with a tint of.. guilt. that morning, she decided to forgive B. then, there was a turn of events. that made her felt like a piece of crap to have had the player-mentality. God loved her so much and why couldn't she love herself more? A's words made her feel God's love. A's tears knocked sense into her and woke her up. A's question was direct. she felt as if A had been peeking at her diary. the things/topic that she has been skipping.. the walls she built... A tore that off. she couldn't deny. the hammer hitting right on the nail. she was ashamed. felt as if someone cared more about the situation more than the ppl involved. but A's pov won't change the situation any bit. it won't change u. but at least leng knows that when she's struggling, she's not alone. someone has been praying for us.

maybe hurt and denial chased me away. i want to be alone. single. sorry.

i won't be answering any qns bout this entry. if you get it, you get it.

2008-02-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER!IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER!
IT'S ALL ALL OVER! :)

today marks the LAST sem paper of my entire poly life! :D
yep, year 3 is just clinical assessment and tests. NO SEM PAPER!
thank God for bringing me thru all the stressful studying and last minute mugging. and i am really thankful to the ppl who prayed for me; who encouraged me. you rock.
i really felt like crap when i'm crumbling under pressure. but well, the main thing is that it's over. :):):)

thus after mugging and completion of papers come... A WELL DESERVING BREAK :D (before the hideous attachment on 11feb)
therefore, i'm free free free! lovelies, ask me out!!!!

2008-01-27T16:56:00.000+08:00

i least expected this.
no, not from you.

today is a crappy day. thou on the surface everything seems pretty much resolved but i know this is leaving a scar in both of us. i don't want anything to ever come between us, let alone let a misunderstanding bring down our friendship. everything that we had and went through is precious and i don't ever want to ruin it. i noe u are hurting too. deeply. maybe more than i could ever imagine. but through it all, i still want you to know that i will be here. BBF. no matter wad.

i have my BV paper tmr. i have 284958592840245 things left to study. but trust me i have been sitting in front of my notes since 10am. i feel damn crappy. super depressed. esp when all the problems that i have in my insignificant life keeps haunting me every time i'm trying to concentrate. they are allying to take over my tiny brain. i can feel the headache coming. ARRGHH.

i think i shouldn't even be blogging now. :(

2008-01-24T01:42:00.000+08:00

i shall blog. about things that are light-hearted.. things that i can randomly crap up w/o much thought process. i had my semester paper today. crammed up a lot in my head, sacrificed pretty much of my brain cells, had various headaches, too last min, din have enough time (or so i thought), pray pray pray pray, took the paper, vomit out all that i have, and i'm officially down with 2 papers left.
:):):):):):):):):):) the test went well, thank God.
next up is mon's Binocular Vision paper
and thurs Contact lens Complication paper.
horror.

for the many concerned ppl, aikleng has been surprisingly alright recently. mood swings no doubt, but at least there's lesser emotional roller coasters. feel happy for me, won't you?
guess wad? vday's upcoming. ha.

THIS IS MY HAPPY POST

2008-01-09T10:44:00.000+08:00

lalalalalalaaaa... i'm feeling happy today! (: for no particular reason thou.. or maybe its just that i din go for class today, slept in, woke up late.. HAHA. but well, who cares... i'm just happy. :):):):):)

2008-01-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

SHE 最近還好嗎

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得一个人走回家

问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜里回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念里挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

2007-12-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

it overwhelmed me again today.

how long does it take to piece back a shattered heart?

i want nothing and everything at the same time

I'll move on

2007-12-29T02:56:00.001+08:00

This road that i'm taking
twist and turns
my life
my chance
turning dreams into reality

down this path
faced with many things
sometimes i feel like giving up and turn away

can't seem to go on
and i've been though this before
now where am I?
Where do i stand?
A little lost here.
But i'll remember all those times You've brought me through.
I'd be a fool to give up cause the goal is near.

i'll move on, I'll go on.
Lord I will take Your hand.
and You will guide me along.
survive though this storm.
so i say come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, i will walk down this road.
and my passion drive will lead me on

Here I am,
once again
caught in the rain
looking back i've come so far
and i want to carry on

take a step at a little time
it's alright
Even through this rain i want to smile again

don't hold back now
i've been through this before.
now where am I?
where do I stand?
a little lost here.
i remember all those times You've brought me through
I can feel the sun shining down on me.

Here I am, here I am,
Lord I will take Your hand.
and You will guide me along.
survive through this storm.
so i say come what may.
i'll hold on to my hope.
yes i will walk down this road.
and my passion drive will lead me on.

someone pls get me olivia ong's album. i'm soooo in love with her :)

2007-12-27T03:36:00.000+08:00

i am certain. that my God is real. that all His promises are true. and that they stand true even till today. bill once took me into a room and told me 'a broken and contrite heart, He will not reject'. God will not reject me, no matter what. He will not leave or forsake me. He'll carry me thru all things. i believe. yes, i believe.

hey you ppl on e same emo boat, we will survive! and i'm glad i have you all at 3.40am. we sorta understand what each other is going thru abit more. the pain and the heartache... and our random, confused thoughts. and you all encouraged me.. make me feel better. :) thank you you! we are like some emo-kid-support-grp at the wee hours of the morning.. but it works.

we have hope. we have love. we know we're going to get better.. because of our Lord Jesus Christ.

santa is coming to town...

2007-12-23T10:16:00.000+08:00

it's xmas soon soon soon! :)
this used to be my fav festive season but well, this year there is almost ZERO xmas mood for me. there's no anticipation.
AARRGH.
and i better go finish up my xmas shopping. go squeeze with the crowd? AARRGH!!!!
i just want to bum.

coincidence

2007-12-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

things went wrong again today. things were kinda awkward, kinda easy to misunderstand.. but wad more can i say? nothing was planned.. bcos, if i had a chance to, things will not turn out the way it is-- so near yet so damn FAR.

it was nice to see you again though.

thanks alot..

2007-12-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

today it has been a great day.. adora dear, love you. it's would have been tough for me if i had not a understanding friend like you. having a listening ear indeed makes rough patches easier. heh. your secrets are safe with me too :) wink*
dyn, you've been e sweetest. thanks for being there for me and assuring me that it's never my fault that things went the way it did.
vannie, you are indeed my bff. though things were hurting and nothing but hurting, you still told me because you know it'll help. though it cost me heartache, uncontrolled tears and shiverings, but at the end it all, i finally am able to stand up again. love you darling.
and for the many many more that showered your concern for me during this entire 3 mths plus, thanks. esp dorena, QL, ruth,sheryl... and maybe you too liji. :)

we all have a part of us that we dun want anyone else to know of. when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and let certain ppl know, they mean a great deal to us.

aikleng will be back, better, happier and stronger. :)

2007-12-10T09:14:00.000+08:00

goodbye my love.
goodbye

RANDOMNESS

2007-11-27T00:15:00.001+08:00

p.s. if you are not in the pictures, TIME TO TAKE PHOTOS WITH ME!!
p.p.s. don't kill me for putting up unglam photos.. haha. thats the fun of it! :) :) :)

GIRLS DAYOUT

2007-11-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

I want a girls night out!!! (day out is fine too) just a day of plain make-no-sense laughing, small talks, chilling out, fun,food, shopping, shopping and more SHOPPING.. that's therapy. its nice being a girl,isn't it?

girls are strange creatures.. we are wired in a uniquely different way from guys. we think different, act different, handle situation,stress and emotions differently too.. we feel bliss differently, feel hurt differently..

and sometimes i think maybe we inflict hurts and pain onto ourselves unneccessarily. we think too much.. WE EMO TOO MUCH.

well, things have been going well for me recently.. tests are kinda done for the moment, reports aren't piling up, nothing's really urgent now. except xmas's coming real soon!! and gosh.. i have no idea what gifts to get. time to get cracking!

when you are single, you'll realise that alot of ppl are interested in you. then the next thing you find out is that.. you don't give a heck about them. and to an extent that you want them to get out of your life. i'm tired of entertaining them.

w.o.r.k

2007-11-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

work is totally boring. if you happen to drop by IMM, give me a ring.. i might just be there. and i would kill to have someone to chat with me. :)

it still hurts..

2007-11-17T00:40:00.000+08:00

this has been a tough period for me. walking out of a past and embracing the uncertainties of the future ain't exactly easy. i'm tired of all the 'you can do it leng!' type of encouragements.. because apart from me, there ain't any one of you all that really understands the emotions i'm going thru. and dont get me wrong, i don't have any intention of putting you ppl down. i'm still thankful for you ppl standing by me thru.. but this is more or less something that i myself have to go thru alone..well, with God.

i gritted my teeth, braced myself up, told myself to look ahead, yet to fall down again.

its all not easy. underneath my smiles, tough fronts, ' i'm okay ' images, what is left? how many of you understand the pain of having to conceal pain? i don't need ppl reminding me to move on, the negatives of the past, the unworthiness of my attention on the memories.. I KNOW.

i just need someone to make me feel safe enough to have a huge cry and a listening ear. please don't assume that aikleng is strong. i'm so not. i still cry at every slight trigger of memory.just that you ppl don't know. healing will happen. but it takes time.. it really takes time. how could i just forget everything that happened? it was a 4yr thing. not 4months.. memories are aplenty, deeply latched, traces of him are everywhere in my life.. it's going to take time. God i need Your strength.

i still thank him though. he really took time to understand me.

but now, i want to love the Lord with all my being. to be His alone. because come what may, Jesus will never cease loving me. His unconditioned love, mercy and grace will follow me for the rest of my life. that for sure, i know.

How Can I Keep From Singing

2007-11-10T00:17:00.000+08:00

There is an endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough

How amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing You’ll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again

I can sing ‘cause You pick me up

Sing ‘cause You're there

I can sing ‘cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

i don't need another someone to love me to assure me of my worth.
not you, nor you, nor you...

Ferris wheel

2007-10-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

Heard the ferris wheel's gonna get started next march tentatively.

everything i see triggers memories, promises and dates that were made.. so much so that no matter which corner i turn to, i'm reminded of you.

photo blog! :)

2007-09-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS! *SCREAMS*
haha.. photos from last sat's Detonate youth evangelistic service...
credits to Wong Li Ji for his hard work and service to God. :)
well, as you can see, everyone had fun.

2007-09-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

i'm twirled around your finger,
believing, hoping, trying..
trying hard because i hope.
hoping because i want to believe in you.

but,
today i understood.
that no one is a need in your life.
your happiness is not dictated by me..
your promises, today i'll learn to let go.

you cut me deep
yet i still tagged along, holding in my tears..
a dumb move.
tell me what was i thinking.

i cried hard when you said it's over
now, harder because i found out that it is indeed over.

no reservations

2007-09-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

i want to watch 'no reservations'. anyone wants to date me? :P

Amen Lord.

2007-09-07T02:49:00.000+08:00

i don't know what i'm thinking to be awake at this time. have been slping pretty late recently but mr sleepy bug is just absent :( ahhh.. dark eye circles! pimples! dark eye circles! pimples! dark eye circles! pimples! dark eye circles! pimples!!!! *faints*

Corrinne May: five loaves and two fishes

take my five loaves and two fishes
do with it as you will
i surrender
take my fear and my inhibitions
all my burdens, my ambitions
you can use it all
i hope its not too small.

singlehood

2007-09-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

i'm single. yup, this is the main update for today. i dont feel like talking anything more bout it. if you really want to know why, well, can try asking me.. anyway u wont b satisfied with the answer cos even i dont know why. haha. oh well, time will heal a broken heart. thou it doesnt mean i wont miss you.

now currently down with a bad bad throat. literally no voice. haha.. everything's coming out hoarse and.. squeky at times (stop laughing van!) but well, den i dont have to work! hooray!

loads of thanks vannie, QL and adora for being there for me today. love you all.
dear Lord Jesus.. i'm a wretch, saved by your grace. thank you for loving me unconditionally.

Being truely happy

2007-07-31T19:36:00.000+08:00

i want to be happy always. i want to be really joyful. how hard is that?

very hard.

teach me to smile at the storm Lord.

2007-07-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

Aikleng's a brave girl!
haha. i went for threading today. brows and lip.. how brave am i? well, one word-- pain! (think of plucking eyebrow pain x 5!!!!) i was tearing slightly in the end. it was a fast process. however, i think my nerve cells are retarded. The pain was not immediate, the onset was approx 3min later. Yep, after i decided to do my upperlip, then the pain set in (for eyebrows)..
haha.. but the pain was still bearable and brows quite nicely done. :)

pain: 6 out of 10
overall: 8 out of 10

it's still worth a try. i'll go back! don't worry, usually i dun inflict pain on myself. :)

dyn, not painful meh?

hmm, last fri 2/5 had a class outing due to long ji's return from the States. 25 ppl came! that's like a miracle lah. as for longji, he didn't change much actually. haha.. look bout the same, persaonality seems the same. haha. The only obvious diff was his american accent, which when accompanied by china-chinese accent, sounds totally weird.

i'm tired. i'll stop here for today. wil post photos another day. Tata.

2007-07-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

my life

2007-07-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

i feel that i lead a life plagued by routines.. and i hate that. what has become of my interests and hobbies? of netball, shopping and simply chilling out? arrgh.

i want back my life.

Guess who's back?

2007-06-29T03:01:00.000+08:00

my blog finally revived!!! :) but i'm almost dead.
it's 3 in the morning and i have school tml! hear from me soon enough. :)

special thanks to VAN FAITH for the blogskin! <33333

tata, nights.

love ya.

2007-03-24T01:04:00.000+08:00

Dont worry ok? Even when the world falls, i'll be your chicken little screaming along with u "the sky is falling!" HAHA! (: thats how much i love and cherish our friendship.

The same i have to say to you darling :) you are always that special friend.

when the sky is falling

2007-03-24T00:14:00.000+08:00

what would you do if it feels like your world is falling apart? as if the sky is heading straight down for you?

will you start emo-ing?
start screaming into your pillow? start wailing in your bathroom? or would you take a bath to calm yourself down? or even try to fall asleep and run away into lala land?

aikleng suggestion: DO ALL OF THE ABOVE.

yes, when you FEEL like the world is on your shoulders and that the sky is falling,crashing you beneath it,YOU ARE THINKING TOO MUCH!!! FIRST, you need to recognise that you are just emo-ing. and everything that's going thru your mind is ten times it's real magnitude. SECONDLY, do all the nonsense that you want to do. (eg. screaming, crying.. etc)haha.. it just makes me feel better somehow. i dunno how.THIRDLY, calm yourself down and.. sleep!!

and when you wake up you'll feel brand new. because you'll realise that all that you went thru was just plain, useless worrying. and worry does no good for you.. it only makes you age faster.

note to self: the 'world' was and is never actually going to be on you your shoulders, you are not a superhero, you can't do every single thing!! you can't be that person that you're not. take things easy (: smile.

2007-03-20T23:17:00.000+08:00

sometimes i don't understand. stupidity is the word since i don't even know what i don't understand about. feels crappy.. an entire day's joy is easily erased and replaced by anger. well, if only i could pin-point what exactly pissed me off.

i really hate myself.

i'm confused.it just like staring at the different facets of a diamond, dazzled and confused. but human unlike diamonds, an increased in numbers of facets only shows that there are more masks, more false-fronts, more deceptions put up.. and somehow i realised today that it can become so bad that you no longer know which side of yourself you are now. when a habit becomes a lifestyle. hiding behind masks becomes a part of you. and you realised you're doing such a fine job that you too can't find yourself in the midst of it.

peace-loving? overly-demanding? understanding? judgemental?

i don't know. should it have been,'nevermind, it's alright' or will aikleng go
'#%$#%*(@#$*&!' ?

many times i don't understand.

Result day!

2007-03-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

I've recieved my yr 1 sem 2 results!!! :)
thank God for good results! yay.

REPORT WRITING AND PRESENTATION - A
OCULAR ANATOMY - A
OCULAR PHYSIOLOGY - A
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS - DIST
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - B
PHYSIOLOGICAL & VISUAL OPTICS - B+
INTRODUCTORY OCULAR MICROBIOLOGY - B+
INTRODUCTORY PATHOLOGY - B+

Semester GPA: 3.692
Cumulative GPA: 3.08

well, hard work paid off. at least i'm satisfied with the results. :) finally managed to pull my last sem's 2.4 GPA to 3.08! this thus marks the end of poly year one for me! horray!

Not by might nor by power, but by His Spirit. Amen!

Pregnant at 9yrs old?!

2007-03-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

The Straits Times 1st march 2007 had an article on the pregnancy of this 9yr old (PRIMARY THREE OKAY!) girl. *shocked*
How on earth would a primary 3 kid want to have sex with a 14yr old boy?! yes.. a KID AND A BOY! what were u doing in pri 3? i think i was still having the 'eeekk boys' mentality.. PRI THREE and SEX don't go together!!! uber disgusting.

AND IMAGINE IF THAT'S YOUR CHILD!!!!!
I THINK I RATHER KILL MYSELF AND DIE.

the girl had too early puberty and already developed breast and was menstrating at P3. and the guy is her schoolmate.(donnoe why, maybe retain 2yrs in pri sch?)The Act was done at the girl's place while the parents were at work!
and of cos the article talked bout the increasing cases of abortions done by minors in s'pore. the stats is 1500 cases in 2006. and qouting from TST, more than half of them are chinese while a third is malays..

imagine how the girl will feel about this incident when she grows up? regret? shame? indifferent?

job search. (again)

2007-02-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

I HATE SAMSUNG!!

my phone died on me again.
2nd keypad malfunction in a year!!!
repair is EXPENSIVE thus i shall scout for new one.

worse-case scenario: mum refuse to pay for a new phone.
result: have to pay for it myself...
thus, I NEED A JOB! (temp for a month)

arrgh.

catch up! :)

2007-02-17T02:02:00.000+08:00

hooray to new skin.
refreshing.

haha.. well, it has been sometime since i last blogged huh. hmmm.. recently, attended my cousin's wedding, celebated vday and... (drum roll)... I TANNED TODAY! :)

as for today's tanning, photos will be coming right up once i get hold of them. sheryl, deir, chanel.. heard that? I WANT THE PHOTOS!!! hees.

my cousin's wedding wasn't particularly nice or anything. just those essentials for a normal, ordinary wedding lor. motivates me all the more to have a wedding that goes beyond the norm. :) and like all bored guests waiting for the dinner to start, CAM-WHORE! haha. that's like the only way to keep me awake.

me and my mum with my sis trying to poke into the picture.

VDAY '07
it was a sweet valentine this yr. :)
WE HAD LOADS OF FUN.haha.. and totally enjoyed ourselves. what more can i say? <3

<

hiatus once more

2007-02-15T02:43:00.000+08:00

my apologies.

i have absolutely no mood to blog in this blog.
this blog with this blog skin.
thus that explains my delayed entries and those entries that i planned but technically..
didn't came.
but that's not it..

i will be back.

once i get a new blogskin that lifts my spirits and makes me happy.
haha. yea.. makes me happy.
isn't that what blogging is all about? (:

therefore sadly i'll have to make u ppl wait.
till i finally break out of my HIATUS state (:
darlings, wait patiently okay?
love you all. tata.

P.S. vday '07 was a great one. will update you all on it soon enough. (: (: (:

2007-01-22T10:06:00.000+08:00

Healing Rain

Healing rain is coming down
It's coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It's bringing mercy, it won't be long
Healing rain is coming down
It's coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus' name

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain

Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I'm not afraid
To be washed in Heaven's rain

To be washed in Heaven's rain...

HIS 21ST

2007-01-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

well well, to sum up yao's 21st.. let's see..
hmm..

on 11th jan (thurs)
930 pm, drizzling, leng half alive after 8-6pm lecture.

bought a cake up to his house to celebrate with his cell grp after their cell ended. accomplice was jeremy. haha. cos he was the only one who knew i was going.. hehe. in the end, it was really kinda a surprise when i appeared at the door. but due to jem's bad time estimation i waited at the void deck for almost 30 min (COS THEIR CELL HAVEN ENDED! ARRGH.)
haha. even dyn and the parents were shocked. haha. i knock on dyn's room door and her 1st reaction was.. "huh? why are you here?"

on 12 jan 07 (his bdae)
630pm, wet and cold, leng half dead after another 9-6pm lecture day.

met him at SP after my class. took a cab to bugis which took freaking long (approx 45min).. and cost a bomb. ($18+) due to the bad traffic due to rain cum peak hour. halfway thru, i wonder to myself, 'should have just took train. reach much faster.' reached indulgz bistro. food and ambience SO-SO ONLY. not really recommanded. plus point: but their service was pretty good.
the place is relatively small with maybe like 10 tables? haha. and the funny thing is that there were 2 more ppl celebrating bdae in there. took neoprints in bugis junction after that and saw peiqi (my pri 2 best friend) and a gay couple (sissy type and uber fair skin) on the train. i can never accept gay couples! esp when they touch each other and whisper stuff into each others' ears. SPARE ME.

pics from 12 jan :) -

on 13th jan 07 (sat)
1030am, cool, leng barely made it.

got awoken by yao at 1030am for breakfast dim sum with his family. totally impromtu. i slept the night before at 330 thus was feeling super lethargic:(
haha.. den went for youth and went out to celebrate yao's bdae with some of the youths.
adora,dyn,me,yang,alex,jem and YAO! haha. billy bomber's bdae special definitely rocks. haha, first up was 6 diff syrup thingy with funny colour and smell. haha.. the ingredients to our letal concoction!!! haha. IT SMELLS LIKE COUGH SYRUP AND TASTES LIKE.. UBER WEIRD. AFTERTASTE: SPICY. HAHA. that's exactly wad u need for a bday boy. next up was just a BB's cap and multi-coloured fabric paint. everyone drew something on it. haha, it was super FUNNY.

red BB cap.

the going home portion of that day was seriously revolting.

P.S. KEEP YOUR LEG TO YOURSELF OR YOU CAN JOLLY WELL GO BACK TO BLANGADESH!!!

that day rounded up with staring at that bangalah. tributes to jadyn lum's staring ability. :)

please smile aikleng.

2007-01-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

i haven had long blogs for a zillion years. today's official mood swing day. feeling real down down down down.. it's those type of unexplainable gloom.. that dreaded type.
kill me.
silence is torturing, talking is plain tiring.
i need strength and colours in my life. sometimes it's just so boring. after a long day,after doing a whole load of stuff,u noe sometimes you'll still feel empty. well, meaningless.
Lord, give me strength to smile.
arrgh, enough.
i dun wanna start dwelling in my 'oh-so-pitiful' situation.
maybe a good sleep will help.

downcasted

2007-01-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

psalms 42:5

why so downcast, o my soul?

why so disturbed within me?

put your hope in God.

for i will yet praise Him

my Saviour and my God.

rainy days

2007-01-04T10:46:00.000+08:00

whoever started out with the idea of a couple sharing an umbrella being romantic, is DUMB. haha.. (think pouring rain) me and yao were like caught in a pouring rain ytd night after watching night at the museum. and we had to walk from the bus stop all the way to my place(approx ten mins) and both of us were like half wet in the end. haha. 'romantic' isnt the word, i think 'laughable' fits in better. (:

anyway night at the museum was nice. funny.
well, worth watching (:

4 big stars!!

well, guess i have to go back to writing reports for now.
tata.

agenda 2007

2006-12-31T21:11:00.000+08:00

agenda 2007

1. get well soon (kill that flu bug!!)
2. be a great bdae planner
3. get rid of dark eye circles cum eye bags
4. have longer hair
5. sleep
6. shop and keep myself happy
7. find out exactly why i'm having bruises too frequently
8. have longer hair
9. get someone to write my soon-to-come reports (i'll pay u ok?)
10. inculcate the blogging habit

quote of the day

2006-12-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

aikleng's quote of the day:

love is not a test of how well u change or control your counterpart.
it is a test of how willing you are to put down your preference... and listen to theirs.

2006-12-20T23:41:00.000+08:00

it'a 3yrs 4 mths and 6 days!!! :D haha.. and therefore outta total random-ness i shall just post photos!! :)

this is what i think of when i think of us. -always happy together :D
thanks for making difficult days go away faster! you make my day!

haha.. such a brillant drawing! :) haha.. definitely not a picture drawn by me but i was pretty sure i told yao, 'use paint and draw a picture of us!' haha.. and i have no idea why it turned out like that! keke. and well, i was commenting on how much his drawing of us bear similarities to toilets signs... heh. :)

i pardon ppl who do not have the drawing skills.. cos i do not have them either! haha.

scream with me.. PHOTOOOSS!!!

2006-12-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

up next...

clickhereforphotosofTLM.
photos from TheLightMoment for those who weren't with us..
a good eg would be rachie baby.. :(
miss ya. come back quick.
photos are contribution frm papa liji and dyn.

dun even comment bout how i look inside. :(

2006-12-09T11:32:00.000+08:00

i wanna watch step up! :)
haha. yao, tml okie?

we conquered that presentation!

2006-12-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

me and sheryl <33

deirdre and sheryl

deirdre and chanel :D

we-are-going-home pic! :) at 6pm

today was presentation day. :( so it was pretty nerve-wrecking as i was not really prepared. but well, God is good! everything when perfectly well. :) and thou we were the first grp up and did not have a slightest inkling of wad to expect, we are glad that it is OVER. hahas. yay!

strength to seek You

2006-12-06T22:25:00.000+08:00

lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost God lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost
lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost

I wanna find God in my crap situation.

God-shaped hole

2006-12-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

God-shaped Hole
Plumb

Every point of view has another angle
And every angle has its merit
But all comes down to faith
Thats the way i see it

You can say that love is not divine
and You can say that life is not eternal
"all we have is now"
But i don't believe it

There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And the restless soul is searching
There's a god-shaped hole in all of us
And it's a void only He can fill

Does the world seem gray with empty longing
Wearing every shade of cynical
And do you ever feel that
There is something missing?

That's my point of view...

Every heart, and every soul and everybody's got a God-shaped hole. You may have tried to fill that hole inside with an empty hand. you've reached in vain. Substitutes don't work, bandages only hurt. The only thing that heals is the hand of God.

upcoming... TLM!

2006-12-04T12:46:00.000+08:00

haha. yea. light moment is coming up soon!!!
it's on next sat (9 dec) at 7.15pm and..
ALL ARE WELCOME!
aren't you glad? heh.. it is going to be exciting!
there will be song-leading, a mime played by our youths and free dinner cum doorgift!
it's held at zion full gospel church (somewhere near town).

and a personal plea from aikleng:
darlings, pls come okay? :)

pics pics pics!!!! haha.. from the rehearsal on last sat. :D haha.. i painted xiang ting's face!! it's not exactly that fab but well, point taken and it's going to be better on that actual day!!

2006-11-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

oh.. before i forget..
van! thanks alot for the necklace! :) and for sheryl...
happy belated bdae!:)

manicured-

2006-11-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

other than the few who has already seen it, i'm gonna whisper LOUD LOUD for you to hear ok?
aikleng has got pink manicured fingers!!
extra thanks to wan er for doing it for me!!! :) yay.

today was a run-around day. went church, went far east to pluck eyebrows :) , went ps creative sales, on the way had lunch at the douby ghaut xchange's pepper lunch express and jp for e nail colour. yes, i went for e creative sales.. and i shall have a section to the FAQ for that:

(1) i did not buy anything.
yao was the one. we went out of the store with 2 mp3s, 2 earphones,2 leather pouch thingy,a membership card and lastly (haha) a stack of lucky draw coupons.yep, for me i would say it's a terribly huge stack of coupons and it's for a car. so it went to the lionel and samuel who had the i-want-the-car-SO-much' grin. :D

(2) the place is not crowded at all. not much of queue.

and well, once again, I HAVE PINK NAILS! haha. it's a bit bright thou.. but still love it :)

rejoice!

2006-11-21T16:37:00.000+08:00

Acts 5:41
The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they have been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.

Lord, i want to be able to rejoice in times of suffering too.

2006-11-19T12:14:00.000+08:00

i'm back!
haha.. with a new skin and stuff.. but well, uncompleted. still needs touch ups but well, i'm a busy person.hahas. thus i shall make u ppl wait!!!
meanwhile you lovely ppl exercise your patience. :D

miss you great people..

oh.. and yes.. tagboard is still not up yet. haha. hold ya tongues. :)

hiatus.

2006-11-06T13:50:00.000+08:00

vindicatedbyhim.blogspot.com is officially on

HAITUS

till dunno when :)

my bestfriend forever. <3

2006-10-25T08:36:00.000+08:00

My best friend
united life

Have you heard of the one called Savior?
Have you of His perfect love,
Have you heard of the one in heaven,
Have you heard how He gave His son'
Cause I found this love,
I believe in the Son. Show me Your way.

I believe in the One called Savior,
I believe He's the risen One,
I believe He'll live forever,
I believe that my king will come,
Cause I found this love,
I believe in the Son. Show me Your way.

Chorus:
Jesus, you are my best friend,
And you will always be,
And nothing will ever change that,
Jesus, you are my best friend,
And you will always be,
And nothing will ever change that.

Bridge:
Nothing will ever change that,
Nothing will ever change that,
Nothing will ever change that,
Nothing will ever change that.

thanks Glorious Integration! without u ppl i might still be walllowing in my self-pity state!
love ya loads! (:
and clap claps for qiaolin! you've been a great encourager! and cell leader too!
and for yao: wow! you din die when i went all emo for the past few days. thanks for cheering me up!
and sheryl: thanks for ya text on mon. :) it was really essential.

And of cos God! bcos not only did He love me, died for me, cleansed me, forgive me, and moulded me,
HE GAVE ME GREAT FRIENDS AROUND ME!!<333

2006-10-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

i'm totally drained out. totally.
keep having weird thoughts crossing my mind.
totally random.
mood swing.
feeling sensitive.
vulnerable.
with an extra tint of emo-ness.

life actually wouldn't be much of a diff for you..
bcos e thing with human is that we adapt fast.
and when a little something is extracted out,
we'll adapt,
and carry on.

i want to cry, but tears don't seems to flow.

reports? save me.

2006-10-19T18:08:00.001+08:00

rawr.
i'm terribly tired. so much so that i dun even bother to update my blog. reading other's blog is so much better than typing ya own. simply bcos' blog is nv enough to contain all e different tots and stuff tt went thru my mind. it's so boring to blog bout unimportant things but well, there isn't anything particularly attractive to talk about too.. maybe that accounts for my MIA period on blogger bah.

and i've got tons of reports to write. so sick of it. it just nv ends. on the avg each week will have at least 2 new reports to write. i have 4 on hand. and mind you.. they aren't fun.

'what's the differences btw a cow's eye, pig eye and a human eye?'

that's one of the qn posted in our report tingy. and i tried doing research. there wasn't much stuff and i'm super sian. and my lappy doesnt have Words.. trial ended too. everythings not going the right direction. save me won't you?

but nvm! even wen all things fail,
I'VE STILL GOT MY LORD JESUS CHRIST! :)
my source of strength and comfort.

and yay! tmr's rach's 17th birthday! going over for her pool cum bbq party. haha.. YAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHel DARLING!!!!

PHOTO BLOGG!

2006-10-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

ZFGC CHILDREN DAY CELEBRATION! :)

pig eyes!!!

2006-10-07T10:02:00.000+08:00

haven updated in ages.
too tired to do that recently due to all that long days in sch and all the boring lecturers.
:( aww.. i know you ppl miss me. :D
hahas.

not much of updates thou.and much of it revolves arnd weird lecturers and their uber weird teaching style. but i shall not go deeper. life's just plain agonising when you're in sch.
but well, the grace of God shall be my strength. :)
and... i haven't skipped any single classes in this two weeks!! yay.
that day i still went all the way down to sch for my single lecture. which was CHARARCTER DEVELOPMENT.
felt so much like pon-ing. but ya, i went. :)

ooohh!!! and i'm cutting up a pig's eyeball on this coming mon!!
i don't know what to expect. :S
actually we get to choose if we want or don't want to cut e eye. can opt out de. but, i think it shld be pretty interesting. so i'm going to dissect it.
try to take a snapshot of the cut up eye for you peeps! say thank you! :D

imagine all the vitreous and aqueous humor oozing out of that that that that that... PIG EYE!

blogshop!!!

2006-10-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

hey girls, i'm fulfilling my promise of helping you babes publish ya blog! :)

http://justpaparazzi.blogspot.com/

oh ya. to you all, this is a blogshop created by some of my SP frens. do give ya support if anything fanciful catches ya eyes. :)

someday i wish i can have a blogshop like them too..... awww~

facts

2006-09-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

learnt some 'hey!, i've never knew that' stuff from my GEMS module (which is Know Your Rights) today!!

fact no 1. "sexual intercourse" btw homosexuals is actually a crime and punishable by law. it is grouped under 'unnatural sex'. which i the same as having sex with animals...ummm~

fact no 2. oral sex IS AN OFFENCE! haha.. be it btw underaged couples or married
couples.. yep, even married couples!! haha... well, you shld be thinking
how they're arrested right?

haha. they have to be caught red handed lar!!! errr... ... RED-HANDED.

fact no 3. ppl have been caught! and i think fined and i don't rmb if there's jail term..
but isn't it totally embarassing?!?

2006-09-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

funny photo machine

CHECK THIS OUT!

2006-09-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

it's 24th sept! it's time for....

NEW SEM RESOLUTION!!!

ya, crap. haha.. but well, here goes my resolution...

(i) try not to pon any classes this sem!
(ii) really try VVVVVVV. HARD NOT TO PON ANY SINGLE CLASSES THIS SEM!!!!
yep, this would include ALL lectures, practicals and tutorials...and regardless of
how boring,how unfruitful and how dull the lectures can be.
or how unwilling i might be..:(

shopping, going out with friends and even bumming at home seems more appealing. :(

hahas, actually tis resolution thingy is kinda due to ytd sermon by sis Meiling. i guess mayb this is a good way to glorify God thru my studies. and hopefully be a testimony for Him. :) yay.

but this is going to be so tough.
my timetable's really terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mon: 10-3 (even weeks) and 1-6 (odd weeks)
tues: 8-2
wed: 8-12
thurs: 8-6
fri: 8-6

everyday's lunch break is ONLY one hour!!!!
kill me.
not literally. hees..

butterfly-craze!!!

2006-09-21T23:52:00.003+08:00

i painted new shoe today!!!
hahas. caught the butterfly craze this week. things that i made this week revolves around butterflies!!! :) did 2 pairs of butterfly earrings just the other day. and today painted butterflies on my shoe!!! weeee~
love it!

photo-blog!!!!! <3

2006-09-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

hees, here are some pics from the thailand trip. it's pretty late i know.
but well,
better late than never! :P

DREAMWORLD THAILAND

this are REAL sunflowers! they are gigantic!
proximately bout 3/4 of A4 size paper. yes, i was screaming when i saw it!
you'll understand why in the next photo.

yes!!! A GARDEN of them!!!

i <3>

me and my sis.

my mum! :)

isn't it lovely?

leopard girl?! hahas

the whale ATE me up!!!

this is the tour guide.
and those 212 stickers and entry tickets to dreamworld.
after the trip, thats where those stickers went! hahas.

p.s. he did not know a thing bout those stuff behind his back FOR THE REST OF
THE DAY!!! i even took pictures w/o him knowing.

ON SOME ISLAND OFF PATTAYA COAST. :D

parasailing!! i didn't go up. i have fear heights.. AND i do not know how to swim!!
such a spoiler!!!

loads of water sports! a great place for water baby!

those tents at the backgrnd are stalls that sells souvenirs!

yay!! :)

2006-09-20T23:38:00.000+08:00

watched THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA today. actually wanted to watch JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE, but sadly it hasn't been screened... but well, THE DEVIL.. is a nice show too. with all the glam clothings-- runway style. and of cos not forgetting those killer heels.they are so high and yet the girls wear them walking and running around is if they were sneakers. i can never do that! okay, at least not everyday.
i bet they have aching calves when they get home..
WAHAHAHA.

yep, jess texted me today. a friend of hers wanted to know me. HAHA. i've way passed the stage of singlehood. hmm, not that it's not good. singlehood spells freedom!! ermz, more freedom, right? haha.

okay, enough of blogging.
i know i have loads of stuff left undone. i know i gotta get started!
and i know that procrastinating is my forte.
AHHHH!
yes, i know i know i know... i know!

2006-09-19T05:57:00.000+08:00

can u believe it?
a blog posted at 0555?

i haven't slept a wink.
serious.
tossed for 1hr plus i guess
don't know why i just can't sleep.
tired but just too alert.
hate it.

i'm tired...

2006-09-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

MODULE	CREDIT UNITS	GRADE
CRITICAL REASONING SKILLS	2	B
ANATOMY & PHYSIOLOGY I	3	B
HUMAN BIOCHEMISTRY	4	B
INNOVATION DESIGN & ENTERPRISE IN ACTION (IDEA)	2	B
MATHEMATICS	3	C
ANALYTICAL & PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY	4	C+
GENERAL OPTICS	6	D+

and my stupid GPA is 2.417. well, to be exact i even added in the 0.017. cos i really tink 2.4 is TOO LOW! arrgh. but nvm. (: i'll do better next sem. u ppl... better watch out for me! haha.

nah. i'm nothing close to being a threat to u ppl. :)
therefore, don't worry.

for the happier side of things...
i just checked e timetable for my next sem!

yes, THEY ARE OUT!
so u ppl from DOPT who still doesn't know that,pls do check it up!

and i LOVE the timetable. yes yes, i hear grumblings all arnd... due to the fact we are supposed to be in sch almost every day @ 8am right? haha. i pity all you ppl staying in pasir ris (deirdre), bedok (sheryl) and all the hard to reach places on the NEL. all you who take at least 1 and a half hr to reach sch...
THIS IS TERRIBLE NEWS FOR YOU.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.

did i say i love the timetable?!
ann-marie told me there's page 2 of the timetable...which clearly states that thou my lessons supposedly ends at 12noon for thurs and fri, BUT i have class at 1700 to 1800 on these two dreaded days. and mondays too. ya ya, so much so for being happy huh?
and...
ALL the three 1700 to 1800 classes are held by a lecturer named yang cheng woi.
he's officially in my blacklist now.
and i don't even know who he or she is.

God, please do not let this be the finalised timetable simply bcos
IT IS REALLY BAD!

i wanna scream into my pillow... ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-12T22:36:00.000+08:00

SHUCKS!

i just remembered that tmr is result releasing day!!!
not exactly REMEMBERED but more of REMINDED.
sheryl just called to remind me.
i am so dead.
mentally NOT prepared.
i'm quite afraid of my genopt[ it's some physics thing]
haiz... nvm.
it will all be over soon.
tmr 2pm results are officially released. x_x

i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

2006-09-12T14:22:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK!
haha. it was a fun trip. and a tiring one too..
was literally on-the-go for e entire 3 days.
visited the dreamworld, the nong nooch village where we watched e elephants perform, and also went to the 'golden sand' island.
the island is just so pretty. lovely beach. ultra fine sand and clear transparant colour water. and they have lots of water sports there..
also visited a gems gallary and a honey making company.
had thai massage and some bird nest in coconut tingy. GREAT.

well, it was fun there but it feels good to be back. :) yay.

2006-09-07T14:05:00.000+08:00

HEY PEEPS!

BYE BYE!
hear more from me in 4 days time!
miss ya all.

esp you my dear. :)

bye bye!

2006-09-05T12:09:00.000+08:00

yay. gonna go shopping in Thailand 2 days later!
yep.. i'll be away from 7th till 10th.
so i'll not be able to attend youth or sunday service this week..
and, i'll not be able to blog too.
and i'll be uncontactable too.
cos I GOT NO ROAMING!!

nonetheless, will be missing you guys. :)

2006-09-01T18:24:00.000+08:00

shishedo was great! haha.. not exactly that fabulous in terms of their products..(in fact i tink their mascara STINKS!) but indeed they were friendly and they taught us some stuff.. yep, and i think having friendly facilitators can really make a HUGE difference. at least they make our time there more enjoyable huh. :) but well, thou the mascara din smell that good, it has it's plus point too -- it holds the curl of the lashes. :) and their skincare range really smells nice.

oh well, on the whole, it's still pretty good.

that was the day before ytd. i think the more eventful day of the week bah. ytd was bumming at yao's place. watched 3 dvds..namely..
(1) the art of seduction.
okay, it's only PG. that's y we even rented it. it has NO bed scene.i dun even tink
there's kissing. don't worry. anyway, it's a korean show. pretty funny.
(2) hoodwinked
it's a cartoon. someting bout little red riding hood. it's meant for kids. and kids only.
boring.
(3) she's the man.
nice nice. some part can be quite... ermz.. well, if you see a girl totally disguised as a
guy hugging another guy.. and..... okay i don't know how to explain. but when you
watch it it's just... eeewwww~ haha. the guy's cute thou. :)

after the dvds, we watched friends.. on dvd too. and tv.

today's simple. i did absolutely NOTHING. i mopped the floor of my house thou.. *clap claps* :) rare.

2006-08-29T12:59:00.000+08:00

recently i don't know what is happening to my face.
outbreak after outbreaks..
ultra sian.
ARRGH.

today going for interviews in town.
hope they're reasonable and tat they'll hire.
sick of job hunting
TOTALLY!
i think if it fails,
i'm not going to wrk le. :(
it's good actually.
i'll just rot at home.

and tmr i have some 'personal makeup course' and the facilitators are from SHISEIDO. :) yay. it's supposedly some personal development tingy SP crapped up with for e hols..well, and i enrolled myself in. of cos with Sheryl and Chanel lar.
it better be good.

ohhh,
can someone tell me what to do with al those pimples?!?
any recommended pimple cream?

2006-08-26T00:24:00.000+08:00

hees.. i sorta 'reviewed' my life a moment ago.
and i am just so thankful.
that i am who i am.
bcos i know that without God in my life, i might still be caught in the vicious cycle of chasing after worldly stuff, getting it..feeling inadequate, and wanting much more.
and that will NEVER end.

but since that day when i ask Jesus to come into my life,
He heard me.
He came in and filled that empty void in my heart.
and when i look at the world thru His eyes,
all i can feel is compassion, love, and more love.
something i cannot comprehend.

and oh pls, i'm not trying to be all-so-perfect here.
i still run after worldly things sometimes.. hate ppl sometimes.. feel lousey sometimes..
but,
i'll be constantly brought back to His grace..
forgiven.

it was love that brought Him to the cross.
and it's the same love that's carrying me thru my days..

like a rose,
trampled on the ground
He took the fall,
and thought of me,
above all.

2006-08-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

today was a great day! (:
went picnic. haha. more like just sitting down and talk lar.
nothing like a picnic.
e 'sandy area' have got lots of ants..
thus we sat on the bench. haha..
yep, we were at east coast.
and we talk and talk..

and gotta thank God for great weather!
it was indeed a realxing day.
the sun, the sea, and the wind blowing at ya face.. haha. GREAT!

and we ended our day with kinder bueno! hees..
doesn't it taste like e sweetness of being in love?
:)

2006-08-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

what did i do to deserve this?
i have no idea. absolutely.
doesn't it hurts me to see you like tt?
have you got to make it worse by rejecting me?
i just need you to noe.. i have NOTHING to do with this.
yet, at e end of the day,
i'm e one torn apart inside with nothing left to spare.
i'm e one who left nothng to comfort myself at e wee of the night.
i'm the one rejected, left alone, in utter despair and amused..
amused at how i got drawn into this whirlpool of disapointments, anger and blame..
trying to savage the harm already done..
without avail.

it was hard for me to console you
to calm that rage in you
bcos i understand your pain.
and i feel that agony.
it hurts me to the way it hurts you, did you ever realised?

but what was i to do?
encourage actions done in moments of fury?

it was all hard.
unbearable.
i tried to be strong
bcos in moments like this i needed to be.

yet when you walk away,
i'm left only with knowledge that
you think that i am just another person
who will never see your point.

i emerged all stabbed and broken.
and that's not all..

i still believe my God is a God of Peace.

2006-08-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

today's a crapped up day. cept' tt i was with vann.. haiz.
was trying to find a job today-- the both of us.
and den after running so many places, we still didnt get one.
i mean one tt we like. hahas.

this is the result of not wanting to work in town.

okay, enough of the job hunt.
i am still jobless.

hmm..anyway, wad do you all tink?
are female the more curious gender?
times and times again i just feel that female wants to know exactly all the details but guys are just satisfied with conclusions.
and sometimes it can be kinda..
sian.
i dunno y im blogging bout this but ya.
:)

hahas. anyway, tmr's picnic day. yay.

yipee!

2006-08-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

love ya phebs. (: sad to know you'll be going off again. but well, one yr is a short time! you'll be back real quick! hehs. take care.

these lollies are part of my 3rd yr pressie! love it! :) they're too pretty to be eaten.

pretty pretty...

so is this :)
love ya.

2006-08-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

it's e weekends again!! yay! it'a like e most awaited period of e week.
later got gear wif e girls den got youth and tmr got kids praise prac at 830!!
gotta wake up early again.
but still, thank God for weekends! :)

today for youth it's e film show on sex and abortion stuff being screened.
'Choices' is the title.
hmm.. indeed alot of outcomes are based on our choices huh?
ya. and today's supposed to be evangelistic service. forgot to invite any frens. :P
it must be e exams
made me forgetful.
well, it's been sometimes since i invited any frens. haiz.
gotta get going girl!
:) yay!

i'm tired Lord. but my hands are Yours.
drag me along...

waiting for You

2006-08-18T13:26:00.000+08:00

hooray for e completion of 2 tests!
2 down 1 more to go!
just ended my bio paper.
thank God i survived.
thought my brain would BURST or something.

this few days my glucose level very low.
and my head hurts badly.
arrrgggh...
but thank God He answered my prayers. didn't get migrane during today's paper. like what happened during e previous few papers. =)

Waiting for You -sevenglory

Come into my arms and I will give you rest
Will you trust me with your whole life?
Will you go into the place that I call you to be
and wait until I supply?

Only there will you find joy
Only there will you find me.

Here I am. I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for the day when you see light
Here I am, you're never alone
Wherever you go, I am here
Trust me with your life.

I will take away the pain you hide and fill it with my love
Will you ever begin to see the reasons why you are here
and take a leap of faith into the arms of me?

yes Lord, in You i've found true joy.
To You i need not hide.

2006-08-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

hahas. van MADE me take away wad she claimed as the "i-look-so-ugly" pic. so therefore to please everyone, i MADE her draw this in replacement. :) she did it in 5 min. i wonder how she did that. heh.

if u ppl dunno wad im talking about, and if you all can still recall, e "van-say-she-look-so-ugly" pic used to be in the 06 AUG post :)
and fyi, she din look that bad in her so called ugly pic. :)

2006-08-16T11:23:00.000+08:00

dyn, this is for ya. :)

The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. (:

I miss somebody right now.
I don't want TeeVee these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed alot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart. like totally!
I've broken someone's bones.(my sis! =X)
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.(i still can't get over the thought of the excruciating PAIN. *ouch)
I need money right now.
I like sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (i would like to try!)
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have alot of moodswings.
I have a hidden talent. so hidden, even i dunno what it is
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have alot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in trackpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the Ã¢â‚¬Å“South ParkÃ¢â‚¬Â movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch spongebob squarepants and i love it.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.(keyword: MOST OF THE TIME)
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who i am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot whenever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I work at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I want to college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fell for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i did this stupid thing.
I can't whistle.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal i've written in.
I can't stick to a diet.(actually bcos i dun even bother to)
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees are a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tatoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

2006-08-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 3RD YEAR

DARLING!

love ya loads and loads.. =)
let's con't to encourage each other and jia you for God together! :D

today i began my first paper.. AP chem. it was from 6-810 pm. thus i wasnt able to attend cell. =( hope you peeps enjoyed yaself.. oh and for AP chem, i tried my best but wasted alot of time re-doing qns cos i din read them properly.. ended up i din have enuf time to complete. haha. wadever! it's all over. thank God He brought me thru all the studying..

haha. was tinking bout whether to go back sakae to work for these few days.. er you decided?
hmmm.. there are pros and cons lar. BUT I NEED EXTRA CASH!
wait and see bah.

gosh. i'm hungry again.

2006-08-12T11:50:00.000+08:00

i'm eating instant noodle now. wif egg.
yes, and 1 egg yolk is 226 mg of cholestrol. which eventually will....
all thanks to Ms phoon, i can never look at egg and not remember that.

hahas. watched Click ytd nite. ULTRA NICE!
was quite shocked by the plot. naturally i would enter a show starring Adam Sandler thinking that it is a comedy right?! ok, it was a partial comedy i shld say. cos' no one cries in comedies!

hmmm.. sometimes we really shld stop chasing and searching for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. like what the show says, maybe in the end all you'll get is cornflakes. by then mayb that extra pot of gold would not matter anymore.

i strongly recomend the show. 4 1/2 stars outta 5.

all those who rides the rapids
have a message they must tell
there's a joy in being lost in something
that is bigger then yourself

and thou the current
takes you places
where you learn to lose control
and if you think you are
going under
He'll never let you go
never let you go.